“Beyoncé wrote a song called “Single Ladies”, then went home to her husband and left you lonely girls dancing in a circle pretending to be happy.”
I saw this quote on social media the other day and immediately laughed and shared it with everyone around me. I thought it was hilarious and so, so accurate. Then I took a step back and realized that it shouldn’t be true at all. For some reason society has created an association between being single with being lonely & sad. But being single doesn’t mean that you’re lonely, it doesn’t mean you aren’t worthy, and it sure as heck doesn’t mean you can’t be happy. I started thinking about how often me and my girlfriends sit around talking about how we wish we had boyfriends, the ways we want our future boyfriend to propose, and the marriage and family we wish to one day have. And then it occurred to me, we rarely sit around talking about how happy we are to be single, nor do we celebrate this season of life.
I am probably the last person (if I’m being honest) that would tell you I am so thankful that I am in a season of being single right now… I mean this is coming from a girl who basically already has her wedding planned out on Pinterest.
From what dress I want to wear, to what songs I’m going to break it down to on the dance floor. (Kinda embarrassing, I know). But all of that to say, being single is hard and I totally get that.
I feel like most times when someone is struggling with being single they are given the “advice”, “God has someone amazing for you, just be patient.” But here’s the thing, we aren’t promised that and that shouldn’t be what we put our hope in. Our hope should be in Jesus alone. My main prayer for myself and really anyone reading this post, that also struggles with being single, is not that one day soon we will have amazing boyfriends or husbands (I do hope that, don’t get me wrong); it is to become content in our singleness and fall deeper in love with Jesus during it.
Now that word, “content”… If you look it up, it is defined as a “peaceful happiness”. Contentment shouldn’t be a feeling that comes and goes, but rather a choice we make daily. We need to wake up each morning and CHOOSE to believe that Jesus is better than anything this world has apart from Him. When Jesus becomes the main priority and the greatest treasure of our hearts, we can have a peaceful happiness in any and every circumstance. I mean, think about when Jesus was heading to the cross. Do you honestly think he was happy about his situation? Even then, he was content (Matthew 26:42). He was content as he endured our pain and punishment, because he knew what he was going through had purpose, and he knew the eternal effect. He was content because he was glorifying His Father, which was his ultimate desire. Jesus trusted the will of the Father over his own desires. He was seeking His Father’s plans and Father’s glory. So, when our biggest desire is to love, know, and glorify God, we then can also be content. Not when the cute guy at church asks you out or when you get a shiny rock on your finger. Those are GREAT things that I hope one day come, but they aren’t eternal and they are not things hope should be placed in. If marriage is the desire of you heart, you will be left heartbroken.
Psalm 37:4 says “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.” I used to read this verse and immediately think, “okay if I delight in the Lord, He will give me my desires” (Aka a husband). But, when it seemed like I was pursuing God with everything and there was still no guy in sight, I was left feeling forgotten. I was left feeling like I was doing something wrong. But here’s the wake-up call I got…THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS. What this verse is actually saying is that when we truly delight ourselves in the Lord, our desires will align with his desires. Our desires will be to love the Lord with everything and our delight will be in His glory.
Lastly, we need to fix our minds on truths, rather than consume our minds with fairytales. If your mind is constantly being filled with thoughts of being a wife, having a wedding, and being loved by a man; then you are going to be disappointed. You are going to be left unsatisfied because the best guy you could ever imagine will still never love you and care for you as much as your creator. If you continue to speak the truth to yourself and believe that you are where God has planned for you to be, you can fully experience all that God has prepared. Right here, right now, in this season (single or not).
Trust me, I know being single is hard. And maybe one day your prince charming will come, or maybe he won’t. God doesn’t promise to match-make on your schedule. He does however promise to pursue you more than any guy ever could, to be with you always, to protect you, and to love you unconditionally. So, remember, it doesn’t matter what or who you don’t have, because you do have Jesus. He is all you need.
(CAUTION: cheesy closing line below)
So single ladies, do as Beyoncé says and put your hands up…and praise Jesus, who loves you more than any man ever could!
See, I warned you 😉